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Garret would probably break in and save me, or else send one of the other guys from the Saxons. The cell was dank and dark, but it had a window - barred, and I couldn't get it open - so I wasn't too worried. I tried to bribe the creep with a blow job but he seemed to think he was all high and mighty and ought to be loyal to his wife.Īnd so that's how I ended up in the Britton jailhouse wearing a pink ruffly dress. Now, the sheriff may be even stupider than the mayor but he still was curious as to why a redheaded teenage boy was climbing out a window wearing a pink dress and carrying a lumpy burlap bag.
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I started to stuff a bag full of loot and climbed out the window without taking off my dress. So, as I was hiking up my skirts I kicked him, knocked him out cold like I'd planned. After all, I didn't want to wait till the last minute to make my move because the mayor might have been stupid and ugly but he was also fat and a lot bigger than me and I didn't want him to take his pleasure with me against my will. The smooth cloth did feel all nice against my skin, but I reminded myself I had a job to do. Well, my plan went haywire when he asked me to dress up for him - you know, wearing an actual lady's dress? Well, I wasn't big on the idea - I don't much go for that sort of thing - but I obliged, stripping down to where I was bare ass naked and then pulling on the giant, pink ruffly thing.
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But he's also got the hots for little boys and me being a little boy - well, maybe I'm not little but I'm small for my age - I thought if I weasel my way into his bed I could easily clonk him on the head, take the loot the old miser has stored under his bed and skedaddle without having to let to old pervert do with me.you know. The mayor of Brittlewood's a stupid, pansy man. This here, the time when I tried to steal from the mayor of Britton, a stupid ass ugly town in Brittlewood, was one of those times when I guess you could say I acted a little stupidly. I guess I do act foolishly and rashly and even a little stupidly sometimes.But still! I'm 18! You'd think Garret thought I was six by the way he treated me, though. I'm Nat Crakener, though Garret called me Crackers, and I'm 18. And then there's the fact that his being bossy makes me.well.I'll get to that later.Īnyhow, he's also a little protective of me. But he's good at being bossy so I don't begrudge it of him. Garret's the leader of our little thieving group, see, and he's a mite bossy.
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Stealing from the mayor, shoot, I should've known I'd regret it, especially since I was doing it without Garret's knowledge, much less permission. You'd think, after all these years of being a part of the most notorious thieving group - we're named the Saxons - in the Valley of Brittlewood, that I'd know better. I guess you could say it was my own fucking fault.